The Power of Choices

Ever think about how much your choices really matter? Every single decision you’ve made so far has brought you to where you are at this moment. Sure, life may throw you a few curveballs, but how you respond to them is still up to you. And your responses either help you or hurt you in the long run. The power of choice is an incredible gift from God (Deuteronomy 30:19), but it’s also a huge responsibility.

A Novel About Choices

I wrote my novel Exactly How It’s `Posed to Be as an entertaining way to highlight the power of our choices. Each of the young men in this story arrive on campus for their freshman year with a clean slate. They’re free— completely on their own with no parents telling them what to do. They get to decide whether to go to class, or not. They choose whether they’ll study, or not, and how much studying they’ll actually do. Their choices even extend to what to eat, how much, and whether to exercise, or not. But for each and every choice, the guys experience consequences. And the same is true for you.

Some choices might be a big deal. I mean, you skip studying once, and you might bomb a test—no biggie if it’s just once. (Don’t do that too many times!) If you eat everything you see in the Caff and never hit the gym, the extra pounds will eventually catch you. (One character in the novel finds that out the hard way.) These results, while unfortunate, can still be dealt with for the most part. Other choices can have longer lasting, deeper impacts on your life, and those are the ones you need to pay careful attention to.

Why Your Relationship Choices Matter

Who we decide to hang out with is one of the most important choices we make in life. (1. Corinthians 15:33) Our friends will take us higher, or they’ll drag us lower depending on who they are. In the novel, one character experiences struggle after struggle because he’s hanging with the wrong friends. Then as his friends improve, his college life improves. That’s the way it works in real life too.

Relationship Lessons In A Package of Tomatoes?

My pastor uses this illustration and it’s great. Ever purchased a package of cherry tomatoes and found one that’s all squished and moldy? The other tomatoes are still in good shape—ripe and delicious. It’s just one with a problem. What happens if you don’t take that moldy tomato out of package? Will the other good tomatoes make that bad one good? After all, there’s more good ones than bad ones. Seems like they could all come together and make the rotten tomato good again. But we all know that’s not how it works. The bad tomato will eventually make the others bad if it is not removed from the group. The same is true for negative influences in your life.

Dating Choices Are Even More Important

Did you know that choosing to date someone gives them special access to your life? Think about it. When you’re dating, you spend more time talking, hanging out, and doing things together than you would with a casual acquaintance. It’s access. This person gives you advice. They begin to influence your choices. Whether you agree or not, you make many decisions with them in mind. And if you decide to have sex with the person, you grant them total access to you, a choice that will impact your life moving forward in one way or another.

As the young men in the novel each meet young women at Winton College, we’re given a firsthand look into their thoughts and choices. They rationalize things, ignore warnings from friends, and eventually have to deal with the consequences. Their experiences are a powerful reminder that choices really do matter.

You can learn to make better choices

Since choices are so important, how can you make better ones—especially if you haven’t made good ones in the past? Making terrible decisions might even be a habit! If that’s the case, here are some ways you can improve your decision making.

Make The Bible Your Standard - God has given us a manual for living. It’s the Bible— the Word of God. (Psalm 119:105) When you consult the manual and follow what it tells you, you cannot make a wrong decision. Yes, I said it. WHEN YOU FOLLOW THE BIBLE, YOU CANNOT MAKE A WRONG DECISION. They might be difficult decisions. They may be unpopular decisions. Everyone may not agree with your decisions, but if you do what God tells you, ultimately you will end up in the right place. Make up your mind that His commands are not optional. Anything God says to do in His Word you will do, and whatever He says not to do in His Word, you won’t do. Period.

Plan Ahead – Think about scenarios that could happen before they happen. For example, what would you do if a married man or woman begins taking an interest in you? Do you “see where it goes,” or do you take immediate steps to squash it? Or what if you’re traveling for work and one of your coworkers invites you to their hotel room for drinks? Do you go thinking, “I don’t want to be rude”? Or do you consider the lasting consequences on your family, job and others around you, and politely decline? Many times, trouble comes because our choices are instinctive and reactionary rather than deliberate and purposeful. You can make them more deliberate by thinking about your choices before they even happen.

Avoid Snap Decisions – Not every decision has to be made instantly. You are perfectly within your right to take a little time before making a choice—especially big ones. Can you think it over for an hour? Or can you give it a full day? If it’s a major choice, can you take few days? My wife and I have a rule: we wait three days before making any large, expensive purchases. Taking some time will keep you from impulsive, emotional decisions.

Pray About Your Decisions – Seems pretty basic, doesn’t it? Ask God what you should do in every situation and expect for Him to answer you. Start your day asking God for wisdom (James 1:5) to make right decisions that day. He will order your steps (Psalm 37:23) and direct you in the way you should go (Proverbs 3:5-6, Proverbs 16:9, Psalm 32:8) so that you get the best outcome for your life. (John 10:10, Jeremiah 29:11)

When Looking For Advice, Only Consult the Wise – If you need to get advice from others, make sure you talk with people who are successful in the area you need help in. (Matthew 7:15-20) Don’t ask a friend who’s had five breakups in two months for relationship advice! (Just sayin’!) Look to people who’ve made good choices in their own lives.

Yes, your choices matter. They shape your life. When you line up a series of right choices, you line up a right life. Maybe you haven’t always made the best decisions, but the good news is that you can start making better choices today. It might not be easy—habits are hard to break—but with prayer, commitment, and discipline, you can train yourself to make better decisions and build the life you want. Why not start today?

The Power of Choices: How Seemingly Small Decisions Shape Our Lives