Is it though? Society constantly blasts us with messages challenging the notion of no sex until marriage. The idea is often mocked, dismissed, or outright ignored. I have yet to see abstinence portrayed as cool. But unlike your outfit, haircut or even your ride, waiting until marriage for sex will never go out of style.
What Does God Have to Say?
First, let's understand what God says about sex in the Bible.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 - Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.
If we’re not talking about our husband or wife (Matthew 19:4-6), we’re instructed to literally RUN from sexual sin. Get away from it—quickly. Why? Because unlike stealing, lying, cheating someone, or things like that, sexual sins impact our own bodies! There is giving and receiving within our flesh that occurs. So whether it’s unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, or even spirits being transferred when two come together sexually, the body is impacted. God knows that and He warns us in His Word so that we’ll be protected:
1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 - It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.
1 Corinthians 7:2 - But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.
Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
He is serious! These are just a few of the places where we are instructed NOT to have sex outside of marriage. There are stern warnings and even judgement that comes because of it.
Why Would God Tell Us To Wait Until Marriage For Sex?
Why? Is it because God wants to squash our fun? Does He look down from Heaven and laugh as He throws shade on our game—the Great Party-Pooper? I’m sure that’s what a lot of people think, but no. God created us and loves us. (John 3:16, Romans 5:8) He wants us to have the best life possible here on earth before we join Him in Heaven. (John 10:10, Jeremiah 29:11, 3 John 2) His warnings and commands are for OUR GOOD. They are to keep us from the dangerous consequences that can come from random sex.
Dangerous Sex
Whether you believe waiting until marriage for sex is relevant today or not, the consequences of NOT WAITING are DEFINITELY still relevant today. What consequences you ask?
Unplanned Pregnancy: Often leads to challenging decisions like abortion or single parenthood.
Soul Ties: Whether you believe in them or not,
emotional bonds are formed during sex. They can hit some people out of the blue, clouding judgment, causing irrational decisions, and impacting future relationships.
Emotional and Spiritual Damage: The impact of coming together as one flesh, only to be torn apart and then united with a different partner, torn apart again, connected to another partner, and so on can be devastating. Each sexual encounter leaves an imprint on the soul, leading to heartbreak and spiritual unrest when relationships end.
These consequences are all too common, yet far too many accept them as a normal part of life.
How Doing Sex God’s Way Avoids Consequences
Consider this: A man and a woman, both true virgins, marry each other. Yes, they don’t know what they’re doing on their wedding night, but they bring so much more to bedroom when that time comes—primarily peace. Let’s break it down:
Physical: Since they’ve never had sex before, neither husband nor wife have been exposed to STDs. If they’ve never done anything sexually with another person, it’s virtually impossible for them to spread a disease.
Here’s the Peace – You can have unprotected sex with your spouse knowing that you will not be infected by some nasty bacteria or virus. Oh, the freedom!!
Emotional: Since neither husband nor wife have had sex before, neither has a sexual connection with someone else to get over. Soul ties. Neither has to wonder if the other’s heart and mind are there with them, or if it’s off somewhere else with someone else.
Here’s the Peace – Your heart and mind are focused on one and only one. You can be sure that your spouse is completely yours, and vice versa.
Relational: Since neither the husband or the wife have had sex before, neither of them has any children yet. It’s not possible. There can’t be an outside “baby mama” that the wife is forced to coexist with. There’s no “baby daddy” for the husband to learn to tolerate.
Here’s the Peace – It’s just the two of you, with no outside influences chipping at your marriage relationship.
Financial: Since husband and wife were virgins when they married, they don’t have any children yet. No one has money automatically siphoned from their paycheck to pay for kids that don’t live with them. Not one part of the income is sent to support another household.
Here’s the Peace – All of your money stays at home, where it belongs.
Spiritual: Since they’ve never had sex before, neither the husband or the wife has “ghosts”—the spirit of other partners haunting their relationship. If a prior relationship used to do one thing in the sheets, or another used to make them feel some kind of way, the other spouse has to work measure up. With no prior experience, the pressure is off.
Here's the Peace – No pressure—you learn how to please each other together without comparing each other to past relationships.
Peace Comes When You Wait For Sex, And Peace Is Still Relevant Today
So why is waiting until marriage for sex still relevant today? It comes down to one thing: PEACE. There is peace when you do it God’s way. In a world where peace is difficult to come by, why not do everything in your power to bring peace to your life? It’s worth more than a good time or a “having a little fun.”
So the question you have to ask is whether PEACE is still relevant in the world today. If you answer “YES” (and you’d be crazy not to), then the reason why waiting for marriage for sex becomes clear.
Peace.
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